It wasn't the first time he cheated on me. It wasn't the second time, too. It happened before but I stayed. I stayed because I love him too much that I will exchange everything for him. After couple of months telling people that we were broken up, altho we slept and went out, he cheated on me. Again.

I stayed. Again.

Today.. I received a friend request from some lady who I don't know. After couple of hours, there was a dummy account messaged me, telling me that my boyfriend is cheating on me. I was work and I was really mad.. I asked my boyfriend who happened to just had a tooth surgery, and he told me that he didn't. He blamed me. He was mad and told me that I don't trust him and I believed in some kind of dummy accounts.

The dummy account added me on one of the messenger app and showed me her real name and face. We talked over the phone for 30 minutes! All she said was digusting… They had picture. They went out while I was on vacation with my family. She also sent me bunches of screenshots of their conversations.. I literally died.. I was crushed.. I thought we were okay. I thought it was a new beginning of our happy relationship. But I was wrong.. All the dates on their messages matches the dates when he trying to go out of town with the church family.

I ran to his room on my lunch because I knew that I won't be able to function right if I am mad and distracted. He wouldn't open the door because he knew that I was mad.. I lied and told him that I was sorry and I would like to apologize to him personally. He even told me that he was at work. Fucking liar and piece of a shit.

He then opened the door and I stood infront of the door so he couldn't go out or even throw me out. I looked at him so mad, and he was really mad, too.. He didn't admit it. He never did. He was even more mad at me. He tryna threw me out of his room but I didn't let go of the door. I punched him in the arm. That's how mad I was. He told me we were done. But no. I am not losing like this. I cried and he hugged me real tight. He didn't say sorry or anything. He made feel that it was all my fault. That I believed in someone just like that. But I have my evidence. And they are all legit.

We had sex. We made out and took a 30mins nap.

We are going to get married.

I am coming with him in South Korea where he will be stationed for couple of years.

We are going to have a happy family.

I know, I am dumb. But I love him too much.

But I wanna wake up.

I don't want to be treated like this.

I don't deserve it.

I deserve better.

But I cannot leave him.

It's too painful and I cannot…