Ok ladies I need you advice! I'm 26 my bf is 32.

I recently took in my 10yr old cousin from a bad situation, well me and my bf did. We had just moved in together so we knew it was a big challenge to take on but she had nowhere to go and she was family for one, and just a kid for two. It’s been a big change for us, more so for him as I’ve lived with toddlers for 6years as I moved place to place with roommates. He has never lived with children and our relationship is feeling the strain. We were trying for our own kids in December; but now, we’ve almost lost each other. I’m ready for kids, I’m ready for family, and she is my family to begin with so I treat her as mine. I’ve gotten her into some after school programs to help keep her on the right track, also some counseling.

I don’t know what it’s like to be on his side of this picture. It was him and me, yes. Then it was the three of us, but I thought because we were trying for kids that he’d be better with her, but he’s starting to resent her for putting strain on our relationship. Not in obvious, rude ways… just distant ways. I’m essentially a single mom. But she’s not his responsibility to take care of, I just thought he’d be more involved. We’re tight on money too, which definitely does not help our situation, we do have a lot of family and friend support which is amazing.

The reason for this post is just for some opinions to help see his side, cause if he had taken in a kid I’m sure I’d be okay taking care of him/her. I’ve lived with kids for so long that it’s just the way I am.  I understand some people are different.

We’ve decided to give our relationship one final try, full communication and effort. But he said something today that got under my skin. “I’m taking this day by day, I don’t know if taking care of a ten year old is something I want responsibility for”… what if she was mine? Actually, biologically mine, would it matter then? She still wouldn’t be yours. Try finding someone who’s almost 30 without a kid… hard. {in this city anyway} So I’m sitting here giving 100% into this relationship while you’re sitting there thinking if you want to? I don’t want to give him the ultimatum of Me&Her or we’re gone, just yet anyway. But I’m not ok with giving 100% while your still deciding whether you want in her life or not. My opinion is a 10yr old is easier and more freedom(and sleep) then a baby, and if you can't handle this..... He said it'll be different for our baby, cause it'll be ours, but dinner won't be talking and seeing how our day is. It'll be 'eat your food, don't throw it, sit down, no hitting....' for like 6 years.