Panic over past mistakes

🦄 harley the creature 🦄 • bi | artiste | music addict | just birthed my first baby boy

Without going into the details I occasionally suffer from an intense feeling of guilt and anxiety every time I recall a certain point in my history. This involved lying to my boss, coworker, and friends and taking no blame at the time for what I had done. I had such fear at the time that I would lose my job, but I didn't intend for anything bad to happen and there was so little I knew at the time.

I later gave a whole hearted apology to them and they had forgiven me and moved on. Why can't I? I feel such panic over something that I should forget about. I even changed how I did things and worked harder to be the best employee I could be. I left that job after I had moved further north, but to this day my past always comes back to haunt me. I hate this feeling and know that everything is ok, so why do I still cry over this? It's so strange and I don't know what to do.

Anxiety is something I've always struggled with. All I wanna do is accept that what happened happened and that I need to prepare for the future.