I have finally come to the realisation that I need to get some help. I've suspected I had ppd for a while now and went to my dr before about it but didn't want anything other than a support group information. But things have hit rock bottom and I know that I'm not well. I need help.

I push my husband away

Take everything out on him

I resent everyone

My fantasy is to crash my car into a wall

I cry more often than not

I feel down constantly

Please don't misunderstand, I love my husband and my beautiful baby boy with all my heart and that's probably not helping. I have awful anxiety and worry about leaving him with anyone apart from my husband or mother. The longest I've left him is 4 hours and that was months ago (he's 9 months).

I know that doesn't help and I need to try and make time for me and to make time for my husband when I'm not nagging him or accusing him of doing anything!

I need help

I need to fix me