Ok ladies so here it goes! On 7/7/17 I woke up feeling really off and not myself. Part of it was that for the first time in months, my SPD pain wasn't taking center attention! I was diagnosed at 22 weeks and it was a huge pain in the butt to deal with. Constant pain, doctors not believing my pain, etc (you get the picture). Well, my husband and my 2 year old daughter and I lazed around the house in the morning and decided to go to lunch and grab some things at target. I was hopeful that the small amount of walking might start something's up (I was 38 weeks and 1 day). So we went to my favorite Mexican place (spicy food duh!) and then Target for a couple of things. After the Mexican, I was feeling a bit crampy but just chalked it up to random aches and pains. Once we got home, the cramps increased and I felt like I needed to poop. I went to the bathroom and had REALLY loose stools. After, I felt like crap and laid down. That's when the cramps started to pick up. My husband urged me to time then and so I did (or tried to, they didn't have a definite start and finish) using a contraction tracking app. After 4 contractions that were 7 min apart and lasting 45sec, the app told me to go in! So we grabbed our hospital bags and headed that way. I was doubtful that anything was happening and felt like I would be sent home. Once there, they hooked me up and as I expected, no change in my dilation since Monday! I was still a 3! By god I was irritated. Then, the monitor picked up a contraction. And another. And another. Then watched me for an hour and suddenly I was a 4! They decided I was having the baby that day! By around 8pm I was checked again and at a 5! I got some IV pain meds that made me SUPER high and drowsy. That's when my sons heart rate drastically dropped from 130's to around 70. Before I could even call the nurse there were two in there turning me on my side and giving me oxygen. They then were trying to pick up his heartbeat on the monitor as they had lost it. My best friend and husband were watching me terrified with wide eyes trying to keep me calm. After 30 min or so, his heart rate leveled out and I was allowed to take off the oxygen and lay back on my back. At this point, the contractions were getting pretty intense and the nurses said I was progressing quick enough and baby's heart rate was finally steady enough to get an epidural. They set me up and got the epidural done and I handled it pretty well. That is, until I laid down. I instantly noticed some nausea and told the anesthesiologist. Right after I told him, the nausea swam over me and consumed me. I was handed a pile bag. It was then that I realized me arms were tingly, warm, and heavy. Then my face felt like it was burning up for the inside out. I begged my husband for a wet rag to cover my face while the nurse and anesthesiologist scrambled to check my BP and my numbness. As my blood pressure was being taken, my hearing disappeared. Everything and everyone sounded like they were underwater. I was terrified. What was happening to me? The nurse blurted out that my bp was 70/40. "I feel like I'm dying" I gasped as the anesthesiologist pushed some medication into my IV. Within 10 seconds I started to feel normal again. I could cry with joy at the feeling of feeing normal. They explained that sometimes when changing position too fast after an epidural it can cause a dip in blood pressure. No kidding 😂. I was monitored for a few more minutes and had a couple more dips between 80/45 and 90/56. But they leveled out. However for the rest of the night while trying to get rest, my anxiety was through the roof, afraid it would happen again. Needless to say, sleep did not happen. Around 5am I was checked again and was only a 6. I only dilated 3cm in 12 hours. Definitely not as fast as they had anticipated. Here's where things took a turn for the worse. Instead of deciding to start me on pitocin or break my water to get things going, they wanted to try position changes for an hour or 2 first. Remember, I've already had the epidural now for 10 hours. After the position changes didn't work, around 8:30am they finally decided to break my water. Naturally, the contractions picked up after that. At first, I felt the pressure and no pain. However, around 9am I noticed that my contractions were getting painful. I pressed the epidural button and gave it a few minutes to work. Nothing. By this time I was having contractions every 1-2 minutes. And they hurt. Bad. I couldn't talk through them, but I was able to breathe deeply through them. I told my nurse and she called the anesthesiologist. Turns out, the medicine bag was empty so my epidural and started to wear off. He promised to get another bag and I felt relief knowing the pain would ease up. He changed it and told me to give it 30 min or so before pressing the button to prevent another BP drop. After 30 min, the pain was very much there and did not get better. It was now 9:45 or so and I was in pain. Tears started to shred from every contractions. Curse words were quietly uttered and I struggled to breathe through them. My nurse explained that sometimes once baby drops, the epidural can't reach that area of my body (or some other bullshit that I did NOT want to hear). It was then that I realized I would be having this baby without pain meds. I would basically be going natural. And I felt it. The next two hours were a blur of agony. Every contraction increased in pain as my cervix finally started making progress. By 10:45 I was a 10. At this point, I was that pregnant lady. You know, the one in the movies basically screaming every curse word in the book. Yelling that I couldn't do it. Begging for sedation, begging for anything to make it stop. I felt like I was being ripped in half. It was in my stomach and my back. I nearly passed out from pain twice. I nearly threw up more times than I could count. The pain was unbearable. I felt like dying. Dying had to be better than this. Anything had to be better. I felt the intense pressure to push and I screamed that the doctor needed to hurry because my body was pushing against my will. Finally she was there and breaking down the bed. On the next contraction, she told me to push. I bared down so hard all the nurses eyes widened and they told me to slow down so that I wouldn't tear. I didn't give a flying fuck. I kept pushing, yelling like some primeval beast on a hunt. I imagine it sounded like something from a horror movie. But, after only 4 min of pushing, my son was in my arms. Warm, sticky. His warbly cry piercing the air as I cried "Thank God! It's over! My baby!" All the pain was gone, although it was not forgotten. My chest swelled with pride as I realized I did it. I gave birth without an epidural (basically). I never thought I could do it. There were plenty of times where I felt like I couldn't. But I did. I'm not going to lie, I have some PTSD from the last 18 hours. But everything is worth it when I look into his face. I only tore twice, 1 degree tears in the places I tore with my first pregnancy. My first pregnancy, the labor that was a piece of cake. 11 hours with epidural. No pain. Easy. But this one. Whew. He was born at 10:58am on July 8th, 2017. Born at 38 weeks and 2 days, weighing 7lbs 5oz and 21in long. Benjamin Thomas. The boy who gave me one hell of a pregnancy and labor, but the calmest baby I have ever met. He is latching great and sleeping wonderfully. Big sister is excited and we are all in love. Sorry for such a long story, but props to those who made it through! Here's my sweet boy!