How do you deal with the depression? Today marks officially 4 years TTC. 4 years of heartache and questions. 1 year since finally getting the answer of PCOS. How do you keep trying every single month, without losing yourself in the sadness when it's another BFN. I feel like it's a chore to <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">track fertility</a>, to have sex with my husband. To take the meds and do the temps and still continue with my life day in and day out. I'm genuinely asking, how do you guys do it? I see some people who are 10 years deep in TTC, who have suffered the losses, but they keep going and stay positive. I just need some help. I have always suffered from depression but it is so bad right now. I barely even know who I am anymore. I only want a baby....it's literally the only thing I know I want to do with my life. But even as I'm writing this I'm crying because I already know this cycle is going to be a bust. I just.....how do you guys do it? How do you smile and congratulate all your pregnant friends and family members? How do you go to baby showers and smile? Just.....how?