I still care about my emotionally abusive ex girlfriend. She never loved me, but she was my first kiss and she took my virginity. I told her no, but she kept pressuring for sex. I finally said yes on my 14th birthday. Even afterwards when she apologized, Even when i began crying, I realized i still cared. Thats the worst feeling in the world i think. Even over a year later, i miss our toxic relationship. I feel trapped. I have a boyfriend now who understands and loves me, but i always feel guilty bc i was gaslighted and emotionally abused by her. I feel really stuck