Am I the only one who cries when I see the first sign of AF? You know, that moment when you wipe and there she is.... bright red, laughing in your face. Am I the only one who hangs my head and sobs?

Why does it seem like the end of the world? Is it because I had a miscarriage in February? Because everyone’s advice isn’t working? The “stop trying’s” and “BD every other night”. All I get is, “it will get easier”. But it doesn’t. It starts to get worse every month.

When all you want to do is hide, cry, and sleep. But you have to get up. Have to go to work. Have to smile. Then you see it. Another announcement. Deep down you wish they knew how you felt right now. Want to see, “just kidding” or “April fools”. But it’s not April, and your still a fool.

Still a fool typing, “Congratulations! 💕” on the computer screen. Saying “look hun, (names here) is pregnant”. Wondering if it hurts him like it hurts you. So you shut off your device, turn off the lights, and sob silently into your pillow.

In the morning you’ll blame the hormones. Next month, you’ll try again and take the same test. Hoping this time you’ll be getting ready to announce “it’s my turn” in three months.

(Had to share. A little poem I wrote yesterday when AF showed, again. 😞 Hope you enjoy.)