I have been in a gay relationship for nearly 5 years. But it's a toxic abusive relationship. Emotionally and physically draining. I have tried to leave many times but it never works. I feel so stuck.

I'm not gay! I went through a phase back in the day, when me and my boyfriend broke up I met a girl who was 11 years older then me. Then I met my now girlfriend 5 years ago. We fight all the time over shit.

Last night she got shitty at me cause I didn't wanna sleep with her.

I fell asleep and woke up about an hour before we had to go out for dinner. So I fed my animals and then played some PS4. Sh was still in the bedroom and msged my phone saying " bring your ass to me I'm horny" I then said " but I'm playing PS4 and for her to come help me pas this level" she then said " I'm more important and she's horny "

But why the fuck do I have to have sex with her all because she's horny? By this stage we had to leave in 10 minutes and she wasn't ready.. so I said no. She then cracked the biggest shitty with me all night so when we went out for dinner with family she didn't speak to me all night.

This shit has been going on for 5 years and I feel so stuck, and scared to leave. I feel like it's all I know.

I told her today that I'm 25 and she's only 22, and my age is scarying me cause all we do is argue and I'm so sick of it.

But she never listens.

How do I find the strength to leave?