We have 2 beautiful kids together.

Edit: we have been together for 5 years, I think he's just trying to show me that he can get someone else. I'm going to admit that I am not the best at keeping up with our household chores. But I just quit my job and have not been working for only a week. I suffer from anxiety and depression extremely and I do try my best. I do play video games instead of cleaning but just because I can't get myself to do anything. I would play with guys and add them social media such as twitter but only for gaming. I didn't talk to them otherwise. When my depression has a bad flare up I don't leave my bed except to use the restroom and feed the kids. He will tell me I'm lazy and worthless. I try to remind him how thankful I am for him working hard and such. But he doesn't get my illness.

My boyfriend has been talking to this girl he works with, which didn't bother me. Until she was telling him about her underwear and he told me about it. I brushed it aside because she was talking to my boyfriend about some dude she's been hanging with. Anyways while I was using my bf phone a text came up from her about them running away for vacation next year. Mind you we were on vacation when she said that. I was annoyed. He was like we're joking, I tried to brush it aside. He texted her during our vacation about 75% of the time. He went out of Saturday to the shooting range and I asked him if she was going, he said no. And then asked if I believed him. Well I thought he was telling the truth but he did not.

So I was angry, I asked him two nights ago if I could see his messages with her, at first he told me no and I said if you have nothing to hide than prove it.

Well he "joked" about being her cuddle buddy, talked crap about me, saying all I do is bitch, lied to her about me to make me look bad. And how he thinks he wants to break up with me. He told her she looks amazing.

But he says he didn't cheat, I mean maybe not physically but emotionally I feel like he did. I am literally sick over the situation. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong.

I Love him and want to stay with him but I don't know if I can get through this if he doesn't regret, apologize, or even understand what he did wrong.

What do I do?