Has anyone ever experienced this?

Question

So I was talking to my mum just now and we were discussing marriage. The topic of divorce came up as my mum was saying appearances can be deceiving in relation to a happy marriage. I'm not exactly sure how but we side tracked to people divorcing after being married for years and having kids because their spouse turned out to be gay. I said that couldn't be too common (because I can't really understand someone marrying and having kids with someone they aren't even remotely attracted to). My mum said that I actually knew someone like that, but they weren't divorced. She didn't tell me who- but I guessed as I'd always known something was wrong with their marriage even as a young kid (I couldn't put my finger on it or really understood, but her parents relationship always seemed off and her dad was always so distant and so unlike my own)
Apparently, my childhood best friend's father is gay. His wife found out about 15yrs ago when my best friend and I were around 6. She started planning on leaving him, but that required her to save money and try to find the money he hid from her (she'd known about that issue before this). A couple years after she realized her husband was gay and cheating on her she ended up finding a new man and was planning on leaving with him. But then their family went through an incredibly horrible tragedy and she decided not to leave- she didn't want her kids to have more upheaval in their lives at that time. She's still with him, but they live separate lives in private and are only together publicly. 
I was just so shocked to find out that this really happens. I always thought it was more of a myth or something that happens really rarely. I personally think this is just an awful story and I can't even believe what my friend's mum goes through. She's an amazing woman and always thinks of others. She really deserves someone that loves and cares for her- not someone that can't love her that way (nothing wrong with that- you can't help your sexuality and who you love, but to make someone think you love them is just cruel in my opinion). So I'm just wondering if the people on this app have had similar experiences or if I'm just one of the very few that happens to know someone like this (I hope it's uncommon- Id like to think it is at least as everyone deserves to love and be loved by someone that actually loves you in every way possible, it's so sad to think people get trapped in marriages like this and that people feel they need to hide who they are in this way).

Answer

It happens. And you also asked why. Well being gay and lesbian isn't a totally accepted thing. Some still need to worry about if they'll be accepted.. so they stay in the closet, and to make sure people don't wonder they marry someone 🤷🏼‍♀️. It happens a lot more than you think. But if we just accepted gay people and stop calling them "wrong" and "sins" then maybe that wouldn't Halle ?

Answer

My friend's dad came out as gay a few years ago. He was married and had two children. They divorced and now his dad is in a relationship with a man. It definitely happens.

Answer

12 years ago, my husband's ex wife left him and their three children after 15 years of marriage to be with their daughter's female Tae Kwon Do instructor.  She told him she always knew she was gay but her family was devoutly Pentecostal and she thought that by marrying a good, Christian man and having children she could "pray away the gay".  Obviously it didn't work, and he came home one day to find a note on his computer saying she was just "totally over the whole wife and mother thing".  Their children were 13, 11, and 9.
PS:  She and her partner are still together and she's recently reached out to my stepchildren, but they have never forgiven their mother for walking out on them when they were young.  They don't have an issue with her homosexuality, but they are all still deeply scarred by her desertion.

Answer

Look up the Reverend Ted Haggard. As far as I know they're still married though. I don't know of a family personally that's gone through this (unless I do and it's a secret).

Answer

I've heard of this happening. I know people who have been through it. Most of the time, the gay spouse is in denial and tries to force himself/herself to be straight. Or they know, but tries to hide it. Its a sad situation all around.

Answer

My best friend in high school, her mum and dad sat her and her sister down (were talking about 13 years or so ago now) and told them that they where getting a divorce. The reason being their dad confessed and said he'd been living a lie, that he's actually gay. 
Now their mother has met someone else (10 years or so), and her father is married to a lovely man, so she has 3 wonderful fathers in her life. It happens, more often than you'd think.

Answer

My first serious bf in highschool, his dad was gay, but prior to coming out, was married to my bf's mom... obviously, they divorced when he came out, but despite the divorce, they were still very good friends.

Answer

I actually have a grandpa like this, he went his whole life hiding himself being gay, even had 5 kids (one of them is my dad), and it wasn't until he was in his 50's that he actually left my grandma for another man, but the man took advantage of my grandpa and stole all his bank cards and money, so my grandpa had to move back in with my grandma. I don't know if he cheated on her or anything at all when they were together, because I'm not too close to them. And I honestly feel like my grandmas known the whole time, because when I visited them when I was around 10 years old, they slept in separate rooms, and this was before he got around to leaving her. And apparently my mom said he showed lots of signs of being gay and there was even rumors of it before I was born and she was just getting with my dad, and my dad would obviously get pissed that people where saying things like that about his dad, but now that he's came out of the closet and everything, everyone thinks it all makes sense

Answer

Yeah I have heard of this...I don't think I have really personally knew someone but there have been people around me that this has happened too...it's heartbreaking in every way...maybe they still don't know, you know? I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt but if they knew that's really mean...you knew from the beginning it wouldn't last and choose to bring babies into the picture who know are going to have to deal with it! That's wrong!

Answer

It happens. For sure. But, statistically, keep in mind that a small minority of people in the world aren't heterosexual and that in free countries (oppressive countries where they kill you for being gay is something else entirely) most people in this day and age aren't in the closet. 
I think one or two generations back it was definitely more common.

Has anyone ever experienced this?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey