Bipolar with no meds

I'm bipolar and borderline but I'm minor in both. I know my diagnosis, I don't always know when I'm manic (only sometimes) but for the most part I'm pretty aware of my symptoms and overall diagnosis. I get caught up and overwhelmed a lot. I'm writing this so I can calm down, which I have a really hard time doing. I get so mad at myself sometimes and that's when I'm the most mad. Ugh just trying to take deep breaths and realize something's are out of my control. Fuuuuuck but what an irritating day so far