How to deal with wife's dermatillomania?


We've been together for almost 12 years, but we're both still young (27). My wife has picked her skin ever since I met her. She gets angry and frustrated when I try to stop her and her arms, legs, and butt are constantly covered with dark marks from healing "picks".

The big problem is that she also likes to pick me. She says my pores are better for it somehow... She will hold my wrist and sometimes scratch or lightly smack me if I try to get away. We both know this is borderline abusive but this problem is very, very, very hard for her to deal with. She has an anxiety disorder and picking is her coping mechanism.

If anyone has any advice for me I would really, really appreciate it. I've never considered leaving my wife but this just drives me crazy. I can't relax or be naked around her without her grabbing my arms to search for picks. We've talked about this so many times but it's never gotten better.