I'm almost always internally mad and sad. I try not to show it on the outside and I'm not a violent person. I just feel like the things that make me mad and the things that make me sad are the same.

For example, I used to be treasured for my sense of humor and ability to make other people laugh. People still tell me I'm funny, but it's so different. Personality used to matter but now I'm in high school and it doesn't seem to matter unless it's paired with a pleasant face. My funniness is all I ever had going for me, and it's not important anymore. I'm disappointed in myself and I'm so mad and sad that people can't see what they used to see in me. I still think I'm funny, but I also feel like I've totally lost my relevance. It's very frustrating for me.