Am I wrong for feeling the way I do?
Hello Friends. My story is lengthy but I will do my best to keep it as short as possible. I have severe diminished ovarian reserve and possible endometriosis. I became pregnant through <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">fertility treatment</a>. It was a miracle. I went through my entire pregnancy in disbelief waiting for the moment for it to all sink in, the day my baby girl would be born. My last month I got the shingles. I was exhausted, only leaving my bed to eat and use the restroom. Trusted my ob-gyn when she said this was normal. Finally I'm at the hospital. They make me attempt to deliver vaginally. I have no strength. Then they perform an emergency C- section. They show me my baby and then into a "deep sleep" I go. I was unconscious for the next 4 days. I start waking up, hallucinating, not remembering a single thing about my baby's birth. I have jaundice, I become so swollen that I triple in size with fluid squirting out of the epidural site. My incision bleeding non-stop for 6 weeks. The list goes on. My complications were HELLP Syndrome and Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy. My organs were failing. I almost didn't make it. Out of my entire experience my biggest heartache was missing out on my baby's birth. It's as if the delete button was pressed regarding every detail of her birth... contractions, getting to the hospital, pushing, seeing her for the first time, everything. I had been anxiously awaiting for the moment when it would all sink in and that was taken away. The second thing that bothered me the most which brings me to my question about whether I'm wrong for feeling upset about this is that a nurse decided to pump me while I was unconscious. Not only did she do that but she solicited assistance from my hospital guests. My husband was not present at the time. So my brother's wife ends up helping. The same girl who knew my birth plan was to only have my husband with me when it came to privacy matters. She knew I would not appreciate her seeing me unaddressed and she did it anyway. I could not stand the thought of that when I found out a couple months later (after my husband told me that when he got back to my room she was in there by herself pumping me). After I cooled down I texted her to pretty much ask what had happened. She never replied. Next time I see her at my parents house she said hello to everyone except my husband and I. Next time I see her in person I ask her about it. She gives me her version and walks away, leaves me hanging because apparently she can't handle uncomfortable conversations. She then sends me a text and long e-mail playing victim and never once apologizing. She says I'll never see her again. Has since missed mother's day and fathers day lunch. I'll be seeing her tomorrow and feel disgusted already. And when I tried to talk to my brother about this he didn't think either of them need to apologize and said I was being petty. Um, kick me while I'm down. Heartbroken about brother's response. Anyhow, am I insane for feeling violated by her actions? All I hoped for was for a sincere apology and moving on. I get if her intentions were to help but in my mind no matter what your intentions are if you make someone feel bad you apologize. Right? UPDATE: I was trying to keep it short but I guess I should add a little bit more to try to explain why I feel the way I do about my sister - in -law. There's bad history between her and my family. She's married to my brother but definitely does not act like family or a friend. She said she felt obligated by the nurse to help which doesn't sound right to me but even if that were the case then I feel she should've told them to wait for my husband to return. And like I said, even if her intentions were to help, in my eyes she could've been my voice when I didn't have one. My own mother and twin sister stepped out of that room the hundreds of times they did anything to me that involved my privacy. The hospital has apologized and said pumping should not have even taken place and are now writing new policy as to how to treat unconscious patients. Anyhow, I do appreciate everyone's response. Thanks for your perspectives.
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