My baby girl is now 6 weeks old, and I'm finally up for beginning to write my birth story. Settling into a routine where I have a second to think through it has taken longer than I expected!

My husband and I went to my last doctor's appointment on my due date (May 31) with the expectation of going to the hospital to begin the induction process. When I got there and went to check in, the nurses were all asking if I'd been having contractions yet. No, I hadn't. I hadn't felt anything. There was a split consensus about whether he'd induce me this week or wait one more. I just wanted this baby out of me and in my arms!

When I was in the room waiting for the doctor, I thought back to what I had said earlier. I hadn't felt anything. It hit me that I had not been feeling my baby girl move as much as normal. When the doctor came in, he asked how things were, and I told him about her slowing down a bit. He checked me (I was barely 1 cm which was improvement from the nothing I was before!), and he told me to go straight to the hospital.

The nurses said go get food. They knew starting to induce from nothing would take a while, and I'd get no food until after delivery. My husband and I stopped at Wendy's where the girl taking our order labeled our dine in receipt with what was apparently my name: "Pregnant." It seemed fitting seeing as it was my last meal before being not pregnant anymore.

We arrived at the hospital around 3pm and they placed the cervidil. The nurse said it would stay in for 12 hours, and then they'd start pitocin. She said I should get some sleep that night before labor started the next day. Well, I started having contractions almost immediately. She said it does happen to start contractions in some women. I guess I was one of the lucky ones.

I began to progress soooo slowly. By the morning, I was 3 cm, and they started the pitocin. I didn't think it was going to end. The contractions were coming constantly, and they were terrible. I had to have my husband rub my lower back with tremendous pressure every single time to get through them.

At 7 am, nurses had shift change, and my new nurse asked if I was going to get an epidural. I said no while gritting my teeth through another contraction. She asked why not. I said I was scared of catheters. She explained that I wouldn't even know I had one. I said GET HIM IN HERE! I WANT IT NOW! But! I was still only 3 cm. She said I couldn't have it until I was 4 cm. I cried.

I had seen the glimmer of hope I hadn't even wanted minutes before, and I'd had it ripped away.

She went and called my doctor, and he gave the go ahead to get it placed early.

Heaven. I had found Nirvana. I don't think I have ever appreciated not being in pain as much as I did in that moment.

I slept. My husband slept. There was peace in the Queendom. Around noon my family showed up. We sat and talked and waited. The progress was slow, but it was at least consistent. Around 3 pm the nurse checked me again and declared me 9.5 cm for the millionth time, and the contractions started back up on my left side. They weren't as severe, but they weren't easily ignored either. I was ready for this baby!

She checked me again around 4, and I was still 9.5 cm, but my baby's heartbeat was dipping a bit. She said I could start pushing, but it was going to take longer than normal and more work to get her out because I still had a small piece of cervix in the way.

I pushed, and I didn't care at all. Pain was non existent. I just wanted her out! My doctor came in for the last 3 pushes, and by 441 pm, my princess had arrived.

As soon as she came out, the baby nurse said she wasn't breathing right. I panicked. My baby was 40+1. She shouldn't have had any problems! My mom and husband both went to her side as they tried to get her stabilized. My husband constantly made eye contact with me and reassured me she was perfect and she was okay. Seeing how calm he was made me feel so much better, but I was so scared. I couldn't go to her and help her, and I needed to!

After a few pictures, my mom asked if I could hold her. They didn't seem too concerned about her breathing anymore. They placed her on my chest, and I got to hold and kiss her for a few seconds before they took her to the NICU.

They said there was an air pocket around one long that was keeping it from inflating properly. The next 6 days were the longest and hardest part of my life. We're not even entirely sure there was actually anything wrong with my daughter, but that's a different story.

My little girl has now been on the outside for 6 weeks and 2 days. She is beautiful, so sweet, and has changed my life in ways I didn't know possible. It took a very long time for me to truly bond with her after having her ripped away from me for so long, but now she's what makes my life complete.

Kaylea Renee'

June 1, 2017

441 pm

7 lbs 14 oz

19" long

My first kiss!

Daddy feeding her in the NICU.

Coming home!

Kaylea Renee' looking too cute yesterday!