I used to feel this way when I first got engaged.

Like. Nothing could ever happen anymore.

Though I'm only 25.

But before I would travel.

I had a lot of friends.

I had plenty of mental issues, but I was stuck in mania- people liked that version of me.

I started working to get better mentally when I met my boyfriend (now husband) and it has been a terrible mental journey.

Between medications that weren't properly administered or doctors who wanted to put you in a box, things worsened.

I became boring too. Goodbye friends.

My husband doesn't like leaving even the town we live in.

And when we do go anywhere he is exhaustingly negative.

Then came pregnancy which pushed our 2ish year engagement into marriage.

Pregnancy worsened my depression. My bipolar. My panic disorder.

I felt my life was over.

My life is over.

I could never be with anyone else, no one else would want to be with me if I wasn't with my husband because of Baby, and would I even want to ever try to be with anyone else?

My life was over.

My life is over.

I have a 6 month old now. Don't think I don't love her and think the world of her, because she is my earth, sun, sky, stars, beyond all infinity.

I am... no longer my own being.

I am someone's everything which has taken me from being my own anything.

I am nothing.

My life is over.

I'm really struggling. I'm on medication. I see a psychiatrist. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do to move forward. But every step is a fall back.

This is beyond ppd as I have many mental illnesses I struggle with.

I just. Am stuck. I'm caged in. I'm in someone's pocket and they don't want to bring me out.

I am tired of feeling so down. I am exhausted from putting on a face.

I don't even know what I'm saying now.

My life is over.

Do you feel this way?