Okay ladies, I went on a truly AWFUL date last night and I think it tops most bad dates.

I received a message on OkCupid from a cute guy. He didn't have a lot in his profile but he read mine. We decided to meet up (it was Saturday night, I was bored) after snapchatting for a little bit. He was a charmer and said we'd go to a popular place in his neighborhood. I'd been there before so I was comfortable with this as it's really popular and public. When I got to where he told me to park, it turns out he wants to hang out in his apartment and that's where the garage was (RED FLAG). We got to his door and I asked when we were going out. He said that actually he had a friend's birthday and he thought I could come along. I said no for the sheer reasons of safety (this guy was REALLY attractive and charming). We hung out on the couch, chatting and playfully flirting. We really seemed to click and decided to meet up later after the birthday thing. Before I leave, he reveals his sexual past (RED FLAG). Turns out he has a foot fetish, was a former Dom, and doesn't kiss until he's in love. Apparently I'm open minded to this and still feel like "Hey, clearly he's into me and he's attractive. Just see where it goes." (WHY?) As I predicted would happen, he stays out super late and we decide to meet up later that night for pizza and a movie at his place. I'm in my car leaving and he asks me to meet him somewhere else (RED FLAG). I asked why and he told me he needed me to follow him back on his motorcycle because he didn't have a helmet. I agreed because he really wanted me to. When I get there, he's not even there, he's down the street. He get in my car to chat and greet me and I think we are leaving. Apparently not because he has food to eat. This was my first hint that the date was going to go terribly wrong. He brings and eats gross smelly enchiladas in my car AND LEAVES THEM there while he goes inside to get his dying phone. He asks me if I wanted to go to a comedy show. I said hell yeah. We start driving there, me following him on his bike. We both get cut off and he LOSES it (RED FUCKING FLAG). He swerves toward the lady, screams at her, flicks her off and spits on her car. When we get to the venue he tries to park on the sidewalk and security tries to make him move. He gets mad and finally moves (DUDE WHAT). I've gone to park and met him up after. He mentions the lady who cut him off and I tell him that it looked like he lost his cool and he said that he wanted to leave an impression on her (so logical). We go to the show and he knows a lot of the comedians which is great but he decides he wants to leave early. He has work the next day so we do. I drive to his place and meet him there. We get into his apartment (first real date) and he immediately takes off his shirt and puts my heels on his dick. DUDE WHAT. I took them off and explained to him how I didn't want to be viewed as a sex object and was old fashioned. He replied that he took me out (his friend paid for the show and our drinks) and that I owed him foreplay. HELL NO. I put so much distance between us and he groaned and laid on the floor complaining that it was like we'd been dating a year and there was no spark anymore. (Met him twelve hours ago). I told him I did a lot of driving for him and that it's not required of me to do anything sexual no matter what. He pretty much lost his mind and said some bullshit about him not being right in the head (yeah no seriously.) He walked me to my car said it was okay that it didn't work out and gave me advice to get off internet dating because I was beautiful and girlfriend material and people on there are probably not right in the head. Then we fist bumped and I drove the thirty minutes home wondering how I even thought any of this would work out. He blocked me on everything and I never even kissed this dude. What the fuck.