Just working some shit out**

We're engaged and homeless. We are both having trouble finding work. Probably because we are both feeling low emotionally and don't have a lot of motivation to get a job and we're letting excuses stand in our way. I had an abortion a few months ago because 1. It wasn't going to be able to be healthy enough to maintain a pregnancy (no money for food or a doctor or meds) and 2. Because I want to keep my baby but I won't raise our kid the way we have to live right now. I just don't want this kind of struggle for my children.

But I'm not on BC and we don't use condoms because neither of us like them. He pulls out and is always perfect about it. But I want him to cum in me again like he always used to. I want a baby. It's taking so much will power in me to not try to conceive again. A baby and a family is all I've ever wanted. So it's like girl get a fricken job and get your shit together. I've got no excuses. I need to get back on my feet any way. But I get overwhelmed by how big this deal seems and is. One step at a time.