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Thanks ladies. I am definitely focusing on me more. I went back to school and started a few projects. Even in therapy. And I've come to a new appreciation for myself but there's that tiny doubt there.
Advice
So a few of you knew about my divorce which is almost wrapped up. We are just pulling finances now. I've started seeing someone and he is amazing. Perfect gentleman. Stands by me no matter what I'm dealing with in depression. But I need advice on how to be a better person in the relationship. I hate that my depression and anxiety seem to get in the way and he really handles it well. But is there anyway I can show him I appreciate this. And to maybe be a little more trusting of myself to be good enough to keep his interest.
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Been here before and realized that as great as he is - your focus should be on you right now. During marriages we tend to lose ourselves in the rabbit hole of our significant other. I know for me I needed a little space and time before I even emotionally was able to give my new AMAZING husband a chance. I needed to find out who I was ..... so the best advice I can give is get to know yourself a little. Get over the depression and anxiety first so you can truly enjoy this wonderful man and you won't take out all your issues your ex put you through in this wonderful guy. Good luck .... trust me - if he's great he will understand.
Je
Not an easy task but you can do it !! You are almost there !!! Just a little further and you'll be right where you want to be before you know it.
Je
Wow my ex was alcoholic and started using cocaine. I too wondered why I wasn't enough to make him stop. It was him not me - only realized this after I attempted suicide. That was the dark rabbit hole .... when I actually woke up the next morning I took back the power looked at my second chance and never looked back. He was abusive and I got out as quick as I could. It took a lot for me to work on me and find myself. I was with him 14 yrs. totally can relate on the low self esteem. He broke me down I had to find the strength to build myself back up
Ka
I totally get that losing yourself thing. The problem was that last year when I decided to start finding myself I was moving forward and he got stuck. And he even went as far as to tell me he felt I didn't let him be himself. I was working and he wasn't. He was drinking and abusing medication. So when it ended I was strong but truly sad and even more upset that the blame was placed on me. He cheated and so it's created a little issue with myself in that I wondered for a while why I wasn't enough. It was hard.
Well ive been working on myself too forcing myself to get out and have fun and trusting more. I have tried just letting things go and every time I think about things that I shouldn't then I think hey they either love you or they don't you cant be so controlling that they will love you, they have to do that on their own. Just breathe and do something to occupy yourself.Id probably just be myself, you don't really have to tell him about how you feel with depression and anxiety because he probably already knows. Just keep it a topic you dont talk about because most just don't understand. Try to be the best you can be.
Ka
Oddly enough he asks me a lot about how I'm doing and when I feel like I'm spiraling he will tell me to remember it's not my fault. It's an actual imbalance. I'm definitely learning to manage better with the help of my therapist and my family.
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