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He's the one out of line here. My girlfriend and I are in a similar situation in which I make a lot more than her and pay for our health insurance. Yes, sometimes I'm frustrated that I pay for most things, but we had a conversation a while ago that she would have this job for now while she figures out what she really wants to do. We also just got a puppy so she works shorter hours to take care of her and also cooks/cleans during that time...so it feels fair to me. It's not like she's just sitting around watching tv while I'm working my ass off and I feel like your situation is probably the same. I think you definitely need to talk to your husband get him to understand why you're frustrated and why he's not being fair. You're married. You're a team now. He should take care of you, just like you're taking care of him.
I can't talk finances with my husband without arguing.
My husband recently got a new job that according to him, pays very well. He asked me to quit my two jobs that earned me $30,000/yr and had room for travel and bonuses, and benefits for an office job with no benefits, and to return to school and earn a degree. I lost my benefits, and I lost my extra income. But he kept telling me it was a good move for us and he would help me financially no matter what. I had a hard time adjusting with the new job, and quite frankly I felt like I wasn't being treated right. The office I worked for was breaking a lot of human resource laws. He suggested I quit, and ask for my job back. I took back my retail/sales job. It's rewarding and easy and the commission is great if you meet your sales goals. But if you don't meet any sales goals, you only make hourly minimum wage. But now, he's feeling the financial burden. He pays for our health and dental insurace. He pays for the mortgage and for the utilities. I pay for basic house hold needs, and for the extras, like internet, and cable. I do all the cooking and cleaning. We've been together for 10 years together and coming up on our first wedding anniversary. All these years and we've never shared any finances. Our accounts are still separate and I'm the only one with a savings account.Yet every time I bring up anything about our finance,he makes me feel so insecure and terrible that I don't have a college degree, and that's why I don't have a good job. Yet, he has a marijuana habit. And spends on average $400/ month on these habits. I don't know what to do.
Last month I became ill, and our insurance has a high decuctible, in which my visit cost was $520. I get paid $10.50/HR and I didn't meet my sales goals. Only got paid $600 for the month.I paid for my bill and he told me he would help me with it. I brought it up to him and asked if he spot me $200 for the month to help me with my credit card that I charged it on. He than says to me ," I pay $250/month on our health insurance. So I guess I can switch the insurance around a during open enrollment so I could pay more and make less on my check." I didn't press the issue further.
Its very hurtful and painful to agree to lose all of my financial independence. He wants to start having kids, but won't help pay for any of my appointments in which I can't afford. I keep charging these visits on my credit card and now I'm suffering financially. What can I do? How can I help my marriage get better without seeing a pricy therapist? I don't know if it is me, or him. He doesn't pay any of his own insurances besides our health. He doesnt but any good or household items unless it's something he uses. We don't share and accounts nor splurge on any vacations or big weekend getaways. Any help would be great.
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I would wait on kids until you get this crap figured out. Money is one of the biggest problems in marriage. family is the other. your own kids. In laws interfering. Them siding with their own family over you. Aside from infidelity of course. If this isn't working out working retail. Babysit or dog walk to supplement the income. It's never going to work if it's what's mine is mine. It's our money. You can still have a separate account for daily expenses. Coffee gas etc. You need to make. Monthly budget. Everything down to coffee Netflix etc. Eliminate what's not a necessity if you can't afford it. Maybe work in an office over retail or have another job. You can work and do school a lot of people do. Work 9-5 and school at night or weekend job or however you have to work it. If you do think you need counseling most school churches women's shelter offer free counseling. I hope things get better. Talk calmly. Don't ride your voice or go into it accusing or blaming or name calling or bringing up the past. Just talk. Say I feel we, vs you always or you never etc it's how you say things. I feel we need to figure out a better plan. I feel we aren't communicating as well as we could be. I feel we need to spend more time together. I feel we need to talk to a Third party to help us figure this out. Good luck.
Sit him down and have a serious conversation?? That would drive me crazy idk what kind of men you guys are getting with 😂 my guy might be stupid or annoying sometimes but if I tell him I'm serious about something that's upsetting g me he'll listen and try to change!! A husband should do that and more
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
