My husband recently got a new job that according to him, pays very well. He asked me to quit my two jobs that earned me $30,000/yr and had room for travel and bonuses, and benefits for an office job with no benefits, and to return to school and earn a degree. I lost my benefits, and I lost my extra income. But he kept telling me it was a good move for us and he would help me financially no matter what. I had a hard time adjusting with the new job, and quite frankly I felt like I wasn't being treated right. The office I worked for was breaking a lot of human resource laws. He suggested I quit, and ask for my job back. I took back my retail/sales job. It's rewarding and easy and the commission is great if you meet your sales goals. But if you don't meet any sales goals, you only make hourly minimum wage. But now, he's feeling the financial burden. He pays for our health and dental insurace. He pays for the mortgage and for the utilities. I pay for basic house hold needs, and for the extras, like internet, and cable. I do all the cooking and cleaning. We've been together for 10 years together and coming up on our first wedding anniversary. All these years and we've never shared any finances. Our accounts are still separate and I'm the only one with a savings account.Yet every time I bring up anything about our finance,he makes me feel so insecure and terrible that I don't have a college degree, and that's why I don't have a good job. Yet, he has a marijuana habit. And spends on average $400/ month on these habits. I don't know what to do.

Last month I became ill, and our insurance has a high decuctible, in which my visit cost was $520. I get paid $10.50/HR and I didn't meet my sales goals. Only got paid $600 for the month.I paid for my bill and he told me he would help me with it. I brought it up to him and asked if he spot me $200 for the month to help me with my credit card that I charged it on. He than says to me ," I pay $250/month on our health insurance. So I guess I can switch the insurance around a during open enrollment so I could pay more and make less on my check." I didn't press the issue further.

Its very hurtful and painful to agree to lose all of my financial independence. He wants to start having kids, but won't help pay for any of my appointments in which I can't afford. I keep charging these visits on my credit card and now I'm suffering financially. What can I do? How can I help my marriage get better without seeing a pricy therapist? I don't know if it is me, or him. He doesn't pay any of his own insurances besides our health. He doesnt but any good or household items unless it's something he uses. We don't share and accounts nor splurge on any vacations or big weekend getaways. Any help would be great.