So in 10th grade I lost my best friend and it's my senior year and I have been without a best friend since then. For some reason, I continue to compare myself to her and want to be better than her but I also want our friendship back. She left me because I didnt have a car, I didn't want to do drugs and wouldn't take her to sneak to see her bf. Then she would lie to me about things and the ending happened when she basically called me a hoe told me I was stupid for talking to the guy I was talking to even tho she was far worst off than me then and even now. I don't know if I want to be better than her because I just miss her or because I want to prove her wrong but I don't like feeling this way. I went really hard for her and I wish it wasn't as messed up as it was but it is. I just want to get over this and idk how or why I'm having these feelings towards someone I don't talk to anymore? Has anyone else done thins or felt this?