So, I'm 21 and I'm from San Diego and I've been noticing that I'm a late bloomer to everything. Everything such as things that my friends and students I graduated with from high school have already accomplished. Things such as getting a job, getting a permit, drivers license, car, I still have a curfew at my age which is 12am etc. It's really starting to get to me and I soon found myself crying about it a couple nights ago because I honestly feel like a failure. I haven't even finished college yet or am close to getting enough classes accomplished like some of my friends (well, the ones that didn't drop out) have accomplished. I graduated high school in 2014 and started college that fall semester (August), took 1 semester, had 7 classes, dropped 5 of them (couldn't pay tuition), finished 1 of the classes, then dropped the other, and dropped out basically. Now, I came back and I enrolled back into college spring semester of this year. I now only take 1-2 classes each semester because that's what my mom can afford and it's better for me because I focus better with less classes. If you're wondering why I didn't have a job when I first started college, it is because my mom didn't want me to be overwhelmed with both working and going to school. But, I, on the other hand, was still casually out looking and applying for one.

I recently kicked my major/choice of study out the window because my mom feels that it is too dangerous to do (Criminal Justice-Detective-Cop) and now I'm lost and don't know what to major in. If it was my choice, I would've been in the Navy because that was my back up plan in case college didn't work out. My mom does not like the idea at all of me being in the Navy and thinks it's too dangerous so that is thrown out the window as well. I feel like I'm behind in life and I'm really discouraged about it. I know that God plans things on his time, but I feel like I'm much later into the game than everyone else is. Everyone else has accomplished so much and I haven't accomplished anything even though I'm trying so hard. I know that I should just be like, "who cares what everyone else has done or accomplished ?", but I can't help but still feel discouraged because I see it all down my timeline on social media and feel like I somehow should be at that point. I work so hard and It feels like I'm not catching a break. And, Its not just those types of things that I'm late on. For fun things: I haven't smoked weed (which I would like to try at least once), and everyone started smoking that shit back in high school; never partied or got drunk before; I'm experienced in sex, but not as experienced as a lot of women I see on here are. I've never had an ACTUAL boyfriend or been on an ACTUAL date. And before you think, "oh, she's a goody-to-shoes ... no, I am NOW from 17 years old and up ... everyone has a past." I just feel late. You get what I'm saying ?

I currently made a life plan and wrote things down that I want to get done. Ive been working on getting things done before the list thing happened, and that is finding a job. My best friend has already gained 2-3 jobs but she lied on her resume. She then told me that I should lie and I did make a fake resume and by the time that I did that, I received about 10 calls from HR's wanting to interview me. But, when I used just my regular resume, I didn't receive not 1 call from any HR's. To add in, I did start looking for a job and applied to places back in 2014, my freshmen year of college and not 1 person called to interview me. Ive been trying to get a job for the last 3 years to no luck. All I have on my resume is high school volunteer experience and experience from running my own online shop on a selling platform for 3 years. I didn't use the fake resume for long. I did an interview with it and completely fckd it up because it just didn't feel right. I don't like to lie especially for things like that just to get what I want in life. So, I tossed the fake resume out and I'm now using my own one, the honest one. I gained an interview, but didn't get the job. I don't understand why no one will hire me though ?? Ive been trying for 3 years now! I don't have any convictions or anything like that that could prevent me from working. I'm a good person and willing to work. Idky no one will give me the chance. I advance myself in interviews and made my resume look professional (doesn't even look like high school volunteer experience) and yet employers just look me over ... My resume isn't boring and it does stand out. I don't make myself look you know over confident/cocky at interviews or anything like that. It just sucks ... it really does.