I love anal play but my current boyfriend is not interested

He has straight up said he's not into it and in his words "sorry if you've been waiting around to tell me you're into buttstuff, but I am not at all."

Which was really disappointing to hear and made me pretty sad and now I don't want to tell him that, yeah, actually I am into butt stuff... I've found that it's honestly near impossible for me to reach orgasm without a little light anal play.

We've been together for close to a year now and he's not once brought me to orgasm. It always makes me feel broken because he's doing things right, so eventually I just fake it because I feel self-conscious for taking so long and I know he feels really bad when he doesn't feel like he's made me cum.

I know it's self sabotage and I should just stop faking and tell him to play with my ass, but after all this time it feels like it's too late.