So my ex is utterly *shattered* that I broke up with him and refuses to believe or find value in my reasoning.

I outright told him he had manipulative behaviors and couldn't give me space (see: controlling) among other things and he's still somehow not getting it.

I cut him out of my life about 3 weeks ago and am *so* much happier- I just accidentally came across a (sub)tweet of his saying "your reasons are intolerable" and deep down I know it's because he's, again, selfish and manipulative- I think it's just still getting to me because I tried so hard to make these behaviors more apparent to him. In part because I don't want him to do this to someone else.

I think I found my own answer as I wrote this: when you're coming out of an emotionally abusive situation, it's hard to honor your truth when someone put months of effort into convincing you to doubt yourself. If you're in the same situation and reading this, we're asking the same questions, and looking for answers in all the wrong places.

Your abuser will never be able to take your peace and also return it. Only you can restore that part of who you are; and it's a process of calling it back from where it was pushed aside. You are not alone.