I recently left my home church of 23 years. The youth pastor that has been there for the past 10 years has seem to target me from the moment he met me. Now, before you jump to the "well he's supposed to check in on you and make sure you're following the word of god" let me give you a few examples of what happened.

Four years ago I went on a missions trip to Tennessee, having severe anxiety it was really important to me to be able to call home and talk to everyone and make sure everything was okay, I would call my mom, my grandparents, and my boyfriend. He pulled me aside on day 3 of the trip to tell me he thinks that my boyfriend is all wrong for me and that I should not date him, and to break up as soon as possible to date a guy in our youth group who just so happens to my best friend since diapers. fine, voice your opinion but I don't think him telling me who I should date is necessarily right

About a year and a half ago, I had shared an article on my social media about a young lady, roughly my age who had to have a total hysterectomy due to her Mirena being embedded into her uterus.. so with me recently having complications with mine I shared it. Apparently, I had people watching my Facebook because a week later after posting that, MY GRANDFATHER told me how THE YOUTH PASTOR asked my grandfather WHY I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL. I'm sorry, but that is none of his business and HOW DARE HE even think that talking to my grandfather about that would be a good idea. The main reason why I'm even on it to begin with is because I suffer from PCOS so it helps control it.

Then in December my boyfriend, myself and about 18 of our closest, dearest friends went on a cruise to the western Caribbean...well when he came up to me in March after church to "catch up" I had mentioned the cruise that I went on... he asked if my boyfriend went with me and I said yes. Then he came back with "well how am I supposed to feel about you going on a cruise with your boyfriend and you're not married?!" I responded with "well, however you feel like" because I am 23 years old now, not 16.. nor am I in youth group. So we had a conversation about his point of view, and mine and I thought that would be the end of it. Well, in May i received a FOUR. Page letter from another one of the pastors about how I should be ashamed of the things I've done and as a member of the church I need to be reprimanded for my sins...and on the same day I received that letter, I got a text from the HEAD pastor asking to have lunch with myself and my boyfriend. Mind you, we have been back from the cruise at this point for FIVE months and now all of the sudden they care so much about what I am doing.

I am the only one who seems to get antagonized by the leadership at this church and am constantly judged for the things I do wrong. I COMPLETELY understand that they are there to hold me accountable, but when they don't do it to the other 15+ young adults at the church, i tend to lose my mind a little bit.

Do you think I am wrong for being angry, hurt, sad,etc.? I would love to hear opinions on this... Leaving my church was probably one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I could take being judged for sinning differently than the person sitting next to me on Sundays.