my first hormonal breakdown 😢 feeling horrible now
I just had my first real hormonal breakdown and now I'm feeling horrible.
So far, apart from physical pregnancy related symptoms, it was all plain sailing so far. I'm 20 weeks tomorrow (my anatomy scan is tomorrow too) and haven't had any mood swings so far. Neither small nor big ones. Until today.
I've been tired all day and a bit down. My SO and I had a minor tiff about the dishes. He often overreacts and I brush it off and don't let it affect it too much. I was about to do the dishes when he took over. Nice. No? Apart from the fact he's been complaining about it all the way. Like I made him to. I said I could have done it easily. And that was it. Argument over.Â
But I snapped. I started crying uncontrollably. My SO was taunting me, trying to make me laugh I guess, but it just made it worse. The was this wave of tears and anger washing over me. The argument picked up again and I smashed a plate on the floor.
I feel I wasn't in control at all. It was all quite scary. And I'm all terry again. My SO is extremely upset with me now. He stormed off shouting "don't you dare blame the hormones!" And would talk to me.Â
He sometimes does that when we argue. It's horrible. Because it just prolongs the disagreement and you can't move on or resolve any issue. Usually I try to control myself in arguments for that reason and only push back as far as necessary. But I couldn't help myself. Something has just took over and I lost it big time.
I've just finished cleaning up the kitchen. And I feel horrible. For a very short while after it felt like a release but now I'm back to crying.
How do I explain what happened without having to argue again. I don't want to be defensive about my hormones. It's never happened before. I don't want it to happened again becaue it was a terrible experience for me too.
Sorry for this long post but I needed to get this off my chest. I don't know what happen to me. I know it's an emotional time and we have the anatomy scan tomorrow but... I just don't know. I feel like this has cause unnecessary friction and will spoil the remainder of the day.
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