Testing Head Games

Does anyone else obsessively test, even knowing it is too early and the odds are slim? Today I had a vfl on a blue dye test outside of the ten minute window. I know the results aren't valid, but I am still allowing them to mess with my head.

My husband and I are currently ttc baby #2, ds is 15 months. My cycles are just now resembling something "normal" at 35ish days. Previously they have lasted anywhere up to 130 days. I want so badly to give my son a sibling (something I don't have), and I also want them to be close in age. I have an appt with my midwife to explore fertility options on Friday, so I'm not sure why I feel the need to keep testing.