In not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for criticism. This is just something I can get off my chest instead of hold it in.

My life hasn't been perfect, but I've tried to make it the best I can. My mom did a lot for me growing up. She dealt with the emotional abuse from my father and tried to make it work. As all abuse stories go, this one was no different. We left after an episode with my mom and dad and my mom raised my brothers and me on her own. Being the oldest, I helped out a lot.

My mom and dad remarried. My mom married someone with children of his own, his oldest son treated me like shit. Even 7 years I'm still afraid of him.

I moved in with my dad, step mom and two baby brothers. I was emotionally abused by them both. I stuck to it because I didnt want to burden anyone else. I wanted to make sure my baby brothers would be okay. I stayed my freshman and sophomore year, and was kicked out because I finally stood up for myself.

I got a job, I gained a stalker my Junior and part of senior year. I was going to date him, but after telling me he wasn't interested in a relationship we stoped talking. Then he started following me. My dad would text me, telling me he did nothing. He didnt understand why I was so upset with him. Why won't I move back in With him. I cried a lot Junior year.

During my senior year, it was decided I would go into the Air Force. I also met my amazing boyfriend I love dearly. He's the only person who seems to understand my pains and is still there for me. I had doubts about the Air Force. I started thinking that maybe it wasn't for me, I'm not built to be in the military. I hate working out, I don't like what happens during war. How could I be a soldier? I called out for help but no one answered.

Three weeks into basic training, I started having panic attacks. It all reminded me of the abuse I have endured. I was sent to holding, where after an amount of time, I would be sent home. We were labeled. Our bunks full of bugs. We never new solo would be called each day to go home.

After a week, I was sent home. My boyfriend was there waiting, but I suffered a great deal of stress through out the entirety of Senior year and the Air Force.

My parents told me I had a month to move out. In a letter they sent me through the military. They were disappointed in me. Embarressed to talk to their friends about me. I felt ashamed to be alive. I ran away to my boyfriend house, but my health went to the gutter. Passing out, doctors visits. Scans, ER, paramedics. It was to much for them to handle..

Now, I have a job, I have an apartment, I don't have any money to eat tonight... But I think my boyfriend is sending me food.. He's the light in my life and the reason I'm still alive today. I'm a better person today because of him, and I continue to get stronger every day. A lot of healing this past year has made me a better person to my family, my friends, my boyfriend, and to myself.

This went from a rant to an appreciation letter.. And I'm not crying anymore 😊

I know my life isn't the worst. I didnt even get into living in a neighborhood with gang fights or living in Alaska for a year or anything like that. But it just goes to show you, with a little patience, a light always shines through.