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Question

Would any of u guys read this I'm only 13 but I like were this is going any tips or ideas?

Answer

I haven't read it all but as someone who writes stories in her free time, I have to say work on elaborating and showing the reader instead of just telling them. for example when talking about Hannah, you could say: once upon a time there was a young woman just of the age of 18, one could say a common looking girl who's height exceeded normal standards. She studied her reflection in the mirror, the gentle waves of golden brown and Chestnut cascaded along the sides of her cheeks and framed out the rest of her face. Her deep brown eyes studied the small crevices and bumps the had came from acne previously. Dark spots had run along the bridge of her button like nose and faded onto her cheeks. She glanced at the light pink, almost nude pigment of her lips, which curved into a small, semi noticeable smile. There was a kind and friendly air about her tha t was clear how to even the most oblivious Outsiders. as she looked a little longer into a reflection taking in the view of both her natural features and as well as her tall yet curve figure. she observed the outfit she had picked out the night before, a short, navy blue skirt that reached about to her mid-thigh, a white t-shirt that have been tucked into skirt that stuck out slightly at the waistband, a pair of black high top Converse, and a few accessories such as, thin silver bracelets, a silver ring with a Sapphire gem on her right ring finger, a thin silver chain necklace with a small pendant of the Moon, and a black bow that tied back some of her hair. just as she was about to walk away from her mirror and grab her bag. She heard her mother's voice calling out to her, " Hannah, I'm making breakfast so come downstairs if you'd like some, Its French toast your favorite". (this is just how I tend to write but adding details help characteriza and humanize your characters. it gives the readers an image that is painted out with words. another tip for your writing is check first sentences that could use commas and make sure to add those commas. Another tip that I find important when it comes to writing is to be careful with over using a character's name, like for example when you were writing about Hannah you used Hannah's name three times in a row for each sentence when you could have used it once and then used the pronoun she about two more times before using hannah again. it makes it less repetitive. now I'm only 16 so I can't say that my writing is perfect either I know I have a lot of flaws and mistakes when it comes to writing but these are some helpful hints I've seen in like books or just that I figured out from like my teachers and what not, but definitely ask people who will give you an honest answer about your writing when it comes to checking it but otherwise from what I read it seems pretty interesting. good luck!

Answer

Give a draft to someone who will be honest with you to proof read.  I find sometimes I can be too close to my stories to realise continuity errors and plot holes.  My sister usually does it for me.  Find someone who can give you constructive criticism, not just tell you it's good or that they don't get it.  And don't get upset when then give you their opinion!  Above all else keep writing.

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Just keep writing!

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I am a 13 year old writer and let me give you some advice. Definitely work on punctuation and dialog. Dialog should be in quotes and it's own paragraph. Also, a day of life does not happen in one page. I didn't read the whole thing, but I like the story idea. It is very interesting. Keep writing, and remember, fix your punctuation and show don't tell.

Answer

I'm also a thirteen-year-old writer. A few pieces of advice: 1) Show, don't tell. I write a lot of first person POV nowadays because when I do third person I always fall onto that trap of explaining too much as a narrator, and it reads super boring. It's an immediate turn off to the reader. 2) Always go back and check over your grammar. If you ever decide you want get published, someone at the agency will read it, and will immediately send it back because it makes the story sound really childish. 3) This is more of a style I use but i think it makes it easier to hook the reader. I NEVER just start out in give character info mode. It always ends up reading like blah, blah, blah. I start in the middle of a scene that doesn't reveal too much of the plot but gives subtle hints about it. For example, the book I am currently writing is about girl who finds out that her parents are part of a secret organization of magical people, and she has powers too. Another main plot is that her best friend  is moving away. Anyways, the first chapter she is at a museum with her family and a few friends. Some slightly unusual happens, but it doesn't scream magic. On the way home, the friend that  is moving is acting weird, and the two get in a fight. Throughout the chapter I explain characteristics of the characters, but don't go on it detail. Mist appearance things are small things I put in like, "She twirled her long, dark hair around her finger as she gazed longingly out the window." This way the reader gets a picture of what the characters look like without just having to read a boring descriptive paragraph.

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its really good i like it t its  unique ! i  think you should have  the queen bring  rupunzal in and you can all escape with her in some way but you bump into aroura who is good friends with the queen and have an epic battle with her or something like that

Answer

im 14 and this is what i would read!

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