So I tried to get pregnant for years starting around 2000 then went 10 years with no sex while I was married (his medical issues) and for a few years after. Now been with my BF for almost a year and we decided when we'd been together just a month not to get my depo shot because the Dr said at 35 with my history we needed to 'get on with it' if we want kids. I've been logging on Glow for 9 months and nothing except being late once or twice. He desperately wants kids but I'm feeling old and terribly discouraged. Went to the Dr and she's put me on diet pills for 3 months. 😔 Then I have to go back to get a referral to a fertility specialist. I don't know if I even want to bother trying. 😔 I'll be 36 next week, 12 years since I last had surgical investigations for infertility. I hated it and felt humiliated last time, now I feel like I'm to old and fat to try. I feel bad because bf desperately wants kids but I hate Dr's and any medical stuff and I just feel like I missed my chance staying with my abusive ex so many years. 😔 Also, no offence to anyone but I don't want to hear 'it's god's plan' or 'it will happen if it's meant to be' it won't happen without medical intervention and I'm not sure I want to go through it all and I have no idea how to tell my bf how I feel. EDIT: Should add I cry every month when AF arives, I cry when my cousins announce another on the way and when my friend got her foster child. I try to avoid anything involving children now. I feel like I've failed my family and my bf. I feel like after 17 years I've missed the boat and it's just never going to happen.