Why is it SO hard to wait?!?!

I know I'm not out till AF shows up and I'm out. But I've had all my typical PMS symptoms the past week and I've been taking a test every morning for the last couple days, while KNOWING it would probably say negative. I usually use a cheapie from Walmart so it's not to big a deal, no line shows up...ok eh...but this morning the only one I had (need to pick up more Walmart ones) was a clear blue digital. It really hits you in the face when the words say "NOT PREGNANT", you know? and I reminded myself why I don't plan on using the digital one till a cheapie or five lol have two(ish?) lines, so I can get those words different.

I'm 35 and my DH is 32, we've been married just over 2 years but together 4.5. We finally decided to start REALLY TTC last month, so this is our first cycle so I know I shouldn't be too sad but it's still hard, you know? 😔