not sure what to think

i had a baby 3 years ago. i was convinced that we would not be ready and gave her up for adoption. since then i have felt horrible and off for the last 3 years. every time i concieved i would lose the baby a few weeks afterwards. i am now 24, and ready to start my life with a family and my period is once again late according to this app. but i am afraid to test because i am afraid to get hurt again. i have a b negative blood type and any child i concieve with my fiance will have a positive. i feel like i may never have another baby and it is devastating me. does anyone have any words of encouragement for me or is this god's way of punishing me for what i have done? all i wanted was what was best for my daughter and i am so ready to cry and give up 😭