Am I wrong?

Question

Ive known since I was about 11 years old I've always wanted to have a family of my own. 
​
​I love the idea of being a mom and a wife, I got with the man of my dreams a while ago or so I thought..
​
​I miscarried our baby last October, he seemed like he didn't really care. Now I really want to be a mom but he's told me he doesn't want to be a dad and if I got pregnant he will leave me unless it's a baby girl.. Obviously I can't make sure of that now can I?! 
​
Would it be bad of me just to try and conceive with him either way and if it's a boy just to let him leave? I really love the man but I can't deal with never being a mom, it's the only thing I can think about lately.. 
​
​Anyone got some advice? I don't want to leave him, I have my heart set on him being my baby's father.. I love him to bits but I'm not willing to give up ever having a family :/

Answer

If all you want him for is a sperm donor, then go for it. But if you want a partner, I don't think it's worth staying with him if you only have a 50% chance of him staying after finding out the gender. Obviously he might change his mind, but don't rely on that slim chance. But I'd say you should either find someone who wants to stay, or hold off on trying for a baby until he does change his mind and want to stay regardless of gender. It's just not fair to you, him, or the future child to take that 50% chance right now. He might just not be ready, so I say just give him time.

Answer

Once the baby comes, and it is a girl, what will he ask next? First it's, "I will leave if you don't have a girl," and next it's, "I will leave you if you don't let her....(fill in blank)". If you want a sperm donor, that's fine, there are plenty others out there, but this guy seems like heartache after heartache to me. Save the emotional drama on you and your future baby.

Answer

I learned a long time ago that a child should be something you want because at the end of the day there is no gaurantee that the father will stay or that anyone is going to help you. So you do it for YOU and no one else.

Answer

I feel like I should add that the only reason he wants a girl is because he was bullied as a young lad by others n doesn't want our boy to have to grow up the same way he did, plus he loves the idea of having a daddy's girl, like daddy's little princess. 
​
​Sorry but from some comments it seemed like people thought it was out of being a perv and it's nothing at all like that!

Answer

Think of the fairness towards the child as well as yourself.

Answer

..have to grow up without his dad is a sad thing. And what makes him want to be a dad all of a sudden (a complete 180) if its a girl? What if its boy/girl twins? Will he neglect the boy?

Answer

He doesn't sound like someone really worth having a child with, honestly. Its really callus of him to say something like that. That's not love. For a little boy (if that's what you have) to..

Answer

I think that if he is agreeing to try for a baby then do what makes you happy, if it is a boy and he leaves then he is just super ignorant to the fact that you can't control the gender of your baby and if I'm honest it sounds a little immature - in my honest opinion though, I think you need someone better.. To support you and be excited for you as much as you want to be, regardless of the gender! And it's wrong he wasn't very supportive dying your tough time too! I wish you all the best

Answer

​
​I think given how much you want a family - you need someone you can trust, respect and depend on.

Answer

My first concern would be why would he only stay if it's a girl?

Am I wrong?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey