trying to get him back

if u took the time to read this i really appreciate it :)

i met this guy ten months ago and we liked each other quite a bit and we wanted to get to know each other. however we were both rly shy and i had anxiety depression and trust issues. since we were shy, we made te mistake of talking thru text simply bc i was wayy too shy to talk in person (ik it sounds silly). when we got close i told him about those issues and he stayed and helped me. he did thoughtful things like texting me randomly and asking me if i was okay.

but then my anxiety got to me. i had doubts and thought i wasnt good enough, physically and emotionally. it hurt him that i thought of myaelf this way and he said "i dont like it when people put temselves down, especially you" and he stopped looking at other girls and committed to me telling me i was everything he needed and the only girl he wanted to be with. he was patient and tried to get me to trust him even though there was no reason not to trust him and he was patient and sweet and caring. we decided to commit to trying to make a relationship with each other. i was scared to hurt him so i tried to break it off every week for ten months and he told me it made him feel worried when i did that and he was so selfless and amazing it breaks my heart.

my trust issues got to me for no reason. my phone broke and he trusted me with an old one of his but he forgot to log out of his social mediea and i snooped. i found nothing on there just him defending me and talking to his friends about how much he liked me and all these amaiznf things and the best part of it was it was behind my back. the problem is i didnt tell him i snooped ans it hurt him and i kept making him miserable and screaming at him for things that werent his fault and now he doesnt think im a good person anymore. he asked me patiently to confess a couple times because he thinks that we arent compatible anymore. his two best friends are against me. i hurt him really really bad and i asked him for a second chance and he said hed think about it. he said "i dont know if youre the good person u say u are anymore but ill get to know u again in a few months but for now we are done."

he has completely moved on and i made him miserable and he deserves better than me. i dont deserve a second chance yet hes giving me one.

"in august we can go out and go from there and see if that was a good decision or not. i dont know the chances of me meeting another girl and u meeting another guy but if we find other people then we know its not meant to be."

he hasnt met anyone yet and im planning on asking him out in about sixteen days. however how do i act on that date? i do not deserve this chance and he is already hesitant to go on this date