Almost died giving birth. Trying for number two.

I have a daughter from a previous marriage who is six years old. At 32 weeks I was admitted to the hospital with preeclampsia. I delivered her at 33 weeks and my preeclampsia turned into very scary HELLP syndrome. There was two days that the doctors thought my body wasn't going to recover. My liver enzymes were so high and my blood platelets so dangerously low.

I fortunately started to improve with some of the medical interventions, but let me tell you, it was very, very scary.

My current husband and I were content for many years after not having another child. Little did we know that he has azoospermia all of these years. Something changed this idea in both of us this past Spring. We talked about wanting a child together and began taking steps to see if it's possible.

While we are still waiting for his blood lab work to come back to confirm, the RE doctor gave us hope that it would be a possibility using ICSI and IVF. During our consultation with the fertility specialist he was honest to tell me I had a 25% (1 in 4 chance) of getting HELLP again.

I am so impatient wanting and hopeful to get started with this process, and at the same time

I wonder if doing so is signing a death sentence for myself.