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You need to step back and let him get this all figured out. I'm not sure what other roll you think you should have in the court room besides standing in the back and being supportive. Once all of this custody stuff gets figured out I'm sure he will start thinking of how to introduce you to his child. Until then, you need to decide what you want. If you don't think you want to be with someone with a child then end the relationship.
by boyfriends 4 yr old son from another woman...
so I've been dating an amazing man for what's about to be a year next month the only thing is is babymama is constantly lashing out and insults will refuse to let him take his son anywhere without either her or his grandparents supervising and all of this is for no reason there's never been any reason for her to feel like her son's unsafe for this father so here I am 11 months into a relationship I'd like to get married and have kids one day and I've never even met my fiance son and I don't think I'll ever get the chance to either in about a year's time there's going to be a giant court case and I just have to stand in the back like " hi. I am here to support you" but it's really starting to make me resent him and his kid. like I sort of feel like a bad person but I just can't care anymore. I don't have any kids have never been good with kids and quite frankly I'm just done with the drama. she says such nasty things about me and she's never even met me she's also the stalker type that's been on my Facebook and invades any part of his life as she can and they've been separated since he was born. I has been back and forth on the decision as to whether I really want to have kids because obviously the struggles going to continue for many many years when am I going to be able to settle down and have the things that I want ? I don't know, what should I do?
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Sa
From the way you put your original post that is what I took from it. Also, after a court agreement is signed by a judge his ex can't make the rules. If she tries to break them you can involve the police.
Ch
ok, I dont want to get into his custody battle. I wouldnt, except as a character reference. I just know even if he wins his case his baby mama will not uphold the agreement without legal Force every time, and that disappoints me. the struggle wont end in court. thanks for your comments im not knocking them i just think, that YOU think im doing too much and ive done nothing at all. its not my place and i know that.
Sa
It is really hard to read your posts because you don't use punctuation. Honestly you have nothing to do with his custody battle and need to back up. I get that you're concerned about how he will be affected but custody battles are stressful. Just support him how he needs best and wait it out if this is what you really want.
If you truly loved him it wouldnt be a question. My husband had 3 kids with his devil ex wife. We've been in court for custody for about 5.5 YEARS. I've been there when she kidnapped the kids I've been there every time she had him arrested. I've been there every time we pick up or drop off so I can record it. I've written notebooks upon notebooks of facts with dates time and details to bring to court. This women is truly a psycho but I love my husband and his kids so it worth it. It will never be over and she'll never go away. If you can handle that or deal with their life log connection to each other than you need to move along. He needs to get a formal custody agreement and hold her to it.
Ch
thank you, im so down for being a respectful step parent, respectful of their agreements and their parenting. i just wanna meet him...cant possibly get married without that.
The kid is 4. He should have visitation or parenting time and that wouldn't be an issue. He needs to go to court. 4 yo is school aged. He doesn't need mommy or supervision at this point. Do not respond to her foolish behavior. Google The Smart Stepfamily. SO needs to go to a mediator or family court. If he won't GTFO as fast as you can. They'll drive you insane otherwise. It's likely he prefers things this way or is a deadbeat. There's no reason he shouldn't have parenting time otherwise. I've been in family court with my own for 6 years. The story is always the same. Biological mother is batshit crae or biological father is a deadbeat and lies to the people in his life. I've rarely heard a court case ahead of me otherwise. If he won't address this...gurl run. Save yourself
Ch
thank you, i love that ur advice hits home without being rude, your awesome. i know hes not a deadbeat cuz ive heard the shit she says. in a year he will yave been at his job long enough to goo court and have a leg to stand on, i just stress about moving forward in any way without even getting to meet his son. (which she says will happen over her dead body)
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