Does anyone else have an unhealthy relationship with food? Not an eating disorder but just an unhealthy relationship. I feel I do, and I wish I knew how to stop it. :(

I am not super overweight but maybe 20-30 lbs over what I should be. The only time I really focused on eating healthy was during my pregnancy and a little postpartum but lately all I want is junkfood (2 months postpartum). I feel like I constantly have to have bad food or I'm not happy, but then I'm not happy after I eat it because it makes me feel disgusting or fat. I will say I am going to exercise and eat right and I will do it for a few days but then I am right back to my same old bad habits. I constantly long to be healthy and happy and look great but when it comes down to it, it's as if I don't want to do the work to get there. I just wish I knew some tips or ways to break myself of this. It affects all aspects of my life. Like I get excited to go out to eat with people because I get to eat something yummy, I sometimes don't want to have sex with my husband because I feel fat or not in shape. Etc.

I just don't want this to rub off on or affect my son or his future. I want to be healthy for him so he will be healthy. I wasn't always this way but just the past 10 years since I graduated high school. I just wondered if anyone else goes through this?