My boyfriends best friend died..

Saturday evening after work he came over to relax and hang out for a while... he has been in and out of rehab facilities for severe anxiety/depression. This time it was due to him trying to hang himself. He failed. Was put in on a 72 hour hold, released, and then put on new meds and changing doses on others.

Back to the beginning...

After work he was here for a couple hours before leaving sometime between 8:30 & 9pm... when he left he said he would see us tomorrow(celebrating my boyfriends moms birthday), and I offered him the suppers left overs for that night, but he declined. When he left we just assumed he was going home to take his 8:30 meds for the night and we'd see him tomorrow.

About 9:30 his ex sent him a picture of their daughter, to which he replied with kisses and smiley emojis. After that he was successfully able to hang himself.

Sunday after lunch, we texted him, but he never replied. When he didn't reply we had learned to take it as he didn't want to be around people, he wanted to be left alone. So when he didn't reply, we took it just as that.

Monday and Tuesday rolled around and when he didn't show up for work, his boss called the police dept to do a welfare check, and thats when he was found. Tuesday morning.

Tuesday evening we were giving kids their baths, boyfriend was in the bathroom with our son and I was face-timing my aunt, and the doorbell rang several times. I told my aunt to hang in and when I opened the door it was his mom looking for my boyfriend and when I invited her in and asked what was going on, she told us...

neither one of us got really any sleep that night. We made phone calls, and phone calls, and more phone calls. Trying to get in touch with the most important people in his life to let them know what was going on.

No one truly knows what is going through a persons head when they take their own life. They wont ask for help, you have to physically insert yourself into their problematic of a bomb for a bubble in order to get them to admit that something is wrong. Problems to us that seem small or minimal, are not how they seem to someone elses mind who suffers from anxiety/depression. It is usually like a catastrophic bomb to them. It doesn't seem like that is how it is because they put on a brave face, smile, and hide everything away.

If someone you know suffers, never give up on them. Even if it seems as if they are okay. They are not. Never stop listening to someone who wishes to not end their life, but does it anyways because in their mind that is the only way the "problem" will be solved. Never take another special time you have with them for granted.

Because to them, it might just be their good-bye to you...