D&C was this morning...
So after learning our baby didn't have a heartbeat yesterday we had our D&C this morning.
I was so emotional and just cried from the time they put me to sleep and then started again once I woke up.
My doctor was amazingly sweet as well as everyone I encountered at Hartford Hospital. They gave us a sweet teddy bear and a memory box. Before they gave us the box they carried my little girl in it so we could have the chaplain say a blessing for her. My husband carried the box so close to his heart - just as he would have carried our little Kathleen. As he left to go get the car the Dr. took my precious girl out of our box, wrapped her up, and let me kiss her. I cried so hard as I said goodbye but at least I was able to show her love. After that moment I was washed over with a sense of calm, of peace. I've been home for 2 hours now and I feel ok. I almost feel guilty with how ok I feel. I have her tiny foot and hands prints, the blankets she was wrapped in, and we'll have her ashes soon.
What's strange is that Tuesday night I found a little ladybug in our bathroom and it made me so happy. Then yesterday after we received the terrible news we came home and there were ladybugs all around my chair in the sunroom, and today after I came home from surgery I found 2 on my window. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but I believe that is my little girl letting me know that she has passed and that she is ok. 👼💜💜🐞