Vent please ? STORYTELLING TIME

Question

I feel so frustrated and angry like I can just cry cause idk what else to do I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first it was an unexpected pregnancy tbh i was told I'll never have kids as I got raped when I was quite young and it messed up my insides so I been married for almost three years to the same guy I been dating since I was 16 he has changed a lot idk and not in a good way , he has hit me before and he claims I'm not doing my womanly job because I haven't washed his clothes but he won't give me quarters to wash the clothes he wants clean . He ignores me to be on his phone his days off is him being on his phone and complains what I have on T.V even though he won't be watching it . He says he's on his phone on his days off because when he's working he can't be on his phone , he says I annoy him when I bring it up and tries to make me feel bad about it . He smokes pot and I think weed is a form of medicine when used correctly . He always makes sure to have wax and weed before the bills are paid . He spends $159 every paycheck , he still has not bought anything for the baby he instead wants to waste it in weed .  He smoked a blunt yesterday inside the house knowing I'm pregnant and the whole house smelled like weed it gave me a huge headache . He could of easily smoked outside and it would have been fine but he wanted to smoke inside idk why , I'm really thinking of getting a job when I can and saving up for a car then a divorce u can't imagine him being a good father figure for my daughter , he will always put his wants over his needs , I can't imagine my life wit  someone as controlling as him he does not let me have any guy friends , I can't wear certain thing because of the way my body is shaped , I feel like I'm in a caged trapped I wish I could leave now but I need to be responsible for my daughter It's not about me anymore ! I definitely don't want my daughter to grow around such a hostile environment where both parents don't get along and her to end up being scared of her father because he's abusive emotionally and really loud

Answer

Hey, I'm so sorry for your situation. It's so common. It's soooooooo easy to tell you to leave him and give you the number for an abuse hotline, but that's not what I intend to do here. Not only have I been in an abusive relationship, but I also know so many other women, young and old that have gone through the same. I have questions in order for me to give you my advice. Is that okay? When he hit you, what were the events prior and how did it end? Also, what are some examples of reasons that you like/love and/or tolerate him? I can imagine there are some qualities that are positive that are, possibly, outweighing the negative.

Answer

I would say it's passed time to go. Like way passed.
Do you have any friends or any family you can run to?

Answer

Try to leave. Even if it is going to a local women's shelter in the area. No one deserves to be abused like that and remember your daughter will think that is okay and normalize if you don't leave.

Answer

It sounds like he's definitely abusive and that's not a good environment for you or the baby.. Is there somewhere else you could go? Family or friends who would take you in for a while? You need to get out of that environment as soon as possible. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.