TTC and vacation

After 8 years and numerous health scares and major catastrophes my family has finally been able to take a vacation together. Just like the ones we took while I was growing up. On the way to vacation I was 4 days late and planning to take a test when we got to our destination. Halfway through our drive we made a bathroom stop only for me to discover that AF had shown her ugly b**** a** face for the fifth month in a row. Everyone keeps telling me to just be patient and it will happen when I happen, and I tried SOOOO hard not to get excited about being late, but it's hard when your body is like a calendar and never a second off. Now as I sit at dinner having a martini I'm being judged and told not to worry. I'm sorry but my brain doesn't work that way, what if something I did years ago is causing this problem, what if my medicine is causing this problem. I can't help but to think it's my fault and I need support not more belittling to get through this tough time. I just wish my family understood.