Please help :(

I have issues. I want to get a therapist but they're too much. I'm currently in a relationship of 1 1/2 years and I feel that I am too attached. I know that I am most likely depressed because I get sad about small things (hence needing a therapist) but I'm always thinking that he's going to cheat or hurts me somehow even though he never has and I don't think ever will. It's normal to think other people are attractive, but even the thought of him looking at someone and saying "wow she's pretty" hurts and sickens me. I just feel that there's so much competition out there. I feel so bland and ugly. I'm jealous. I have problems I feel so useless. I feel so childish and I'm always scared he'll leave me. I'm too dependent on him, I constantly want to see him. I'm literally obsessed and don't know what to do, how do I stop. I'm so in love with him but it turning into too mucky. Not for him but I feel god I just feel like a total fuxk up. Anyone who reads this all and helps me, thank you so very much I need someone to talk to I don't know what's going on I hate feeling like this. It won't stop