need a pick me up

I'm missing my husband so much right now! I just want to call him and beg him to come home like I've been doing for almost 4 months now but I can't. He cheated on me and blamed me for having post partum depression, for 3 months I let him blame me and I took the blame myself but he still didn't change. He was still on dating websites and talking to other girls, he still wouldn't come see me or our daughter even though we were "working on things". I found out Saturday that he's been dating a girl he works with so I told him I'm done and I haven't heard from him since. I don't understand how you just walk away from your wife and child, we haven't seen him in a month now but he's telling everyone that I keep our daughter away when I've begged him to spend time with her! She's only 7 months old she deserves to have her daddy in her life! I don't know what we did to deserve this, how are you so happy one day then the next he just walks out and doesn't come back? I miss him so much but I know I deserve so much better than that, I just hate that he turned out to be everything he promised he wouldn't be. I filed for a divorce yesterday and I just feel terrible about it.