Abortion **Trigger Warning** my heart is breaking.

So today is the day, I head to the hospital for the first lot of tablets for my medical abortion. I'm just a little over 8 weeks right now. My heart is breaking but I know it's what's right for me and my little boy 7m and partner. My partner works away 3.5 weeks of a month so we see him 3 nights a month over a year that's less than 50 times he's home. I'm struggling with my little boy at times being a single mother is hard hats off to you all that do this too. I have decided after weeks of deliberation that a termination is what's best. I want more children eventually, it's the right thing but the wrong timing. I know I will feel eternally guilty for what I am about to do and I'll never ever forget my second child and I'll always be thinking what if and wonder forever if it was a little boy or girl. I'll always remember. It's got to be one of th hardest decisions I've ever made in my life and I know when I swallow that tablet today my heart will shatter into a million pieces but I know this is the right thing to do. Emotionally, mentally, physically and financially we are just not ready for a second baby just yet. I must mention I am only 22. I feel I need to write this hear because when I try to say anything out loud the words just will not come out. I'm forever broken and today is the day my life will change forever. I'm struggling to see how I'll ever love myself again and I know I deserve to be punished for what I am about to do. I'm sorry if I offend or upset anyone by posting and lot of you will say if there's any doubt do not do it but are you ever 100% sure about anything you do. I'll always remember my baby.