I'm so tired. How do you keep ttc?
It's only been 10 months of trying, but I'm done. I'm tired of trying, tired of peeing on sticks, tired of hoping, tired of planning sex, of waiting, of taking my temp, of not eating this and not drinking that.
I'm tired of wanting something so bad and not being able to get it.
My cycles have gone from regular 25-27 day cycles to crazy, over 30 day cycles. I'm tired of not knowing when I'm ovulating. I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I'm tired of disappointing my husband and myself. I'm tired of keeping it a secret from everyone!
I find myself hating the fact that I still want a baby.
Because I do, I do want one. I almost cry every time I see old pictures of my friends tiny newborns. I get irrationally furious when I see a not-so-well-off teenager's round pregnant belly. I have planned all parts of my Doctor Who nursery on Pinterest.
I want a baby so bad, but I'm tired.