Next step in rehabilitating myself?

Hey y'all, so long story short, roughly 2.5 years ago an excoworker of mine got ahold of my personal info and used it to sexually blackmail and rape me for 9 months. This ended in February 2016 when I got fired from false allegations I had no evidence against. Ever since I was very very scared of even thinking about being touched down there. Even by my own hand. I've been working on overcoming this fear as well as my extreme fear of males. I'm now able to wash myself down there and even finger myself with no problems. However I'm not able to reach my g-spot and clitoral stimulation alone isn't enough to get me off or give me an orgasm since I've never orgasmed in my life. I'm wondering what I could use as my next step. I've been thinking about buying a dildo since that's way closer to an actual penis than my fingers, but I was wondering is there a step... any help and suggestions are greatly appreciated. I can't go to therapy because I'm in a situation where me revealing i need it would leave me kicked to the curb and on the streets. Please help!