Birthing regrets

I had my first born June 6th. It was an emergency csection. My husband didn't take any first pictures. Not of baby, not of us, nothing. It hurts my heart so much knowing I don't have that to look back on. To share. He said it's because I said I didn't want any pictures like that. When I meant I don't want pictures of like my vagina when he comes out and I thought I had explained that to him clearly prior but I guess not. And baby didn't even end up coming out that way. The nurses even asked him as they were wheeling me off to operate if he grabbed his phone and he said no it's ok. Ugh. This is on regret and grudge I think I will always hold.