Trying... but nothing

I had my son 12/28/16 and he was born not breathing for over 10 minutes.. and ever since had DSS on our case over lies, lies and more lies.. still trying to get him back but should in less than a month. My husband and I are trying, and we will have late periods and all signs of pregnancy but nothing.. I keep track of everything and I am in my fertile window but so discouraged.. what has helped you get through month and months of "it not happening"? One week my husband says he wants another then the next he says he doesn't since we're working towards getting our first back. I'm so stressed following dss demands, i just want my life back. I dk is this too much to share? I'm hurting.. because my first gas gone through so much he deserves me.. anytime I pick him up he just wants the cuddle time with me. Which to me, is everything. But trying for a second is also my dream but not like this.. any advice or anything.

PLEASE NO NEGATIVITY.

I don't need that