So my boyfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. I was and still am just insanely in love with him and he felt the same but we had to break up because of the complete different ways our lives were going. Anyway not the point. I was at a party a couple days ago and I got pretty drunk, we played spin the bottle and I ended up kissing this one guy like 10x. After the game I was chillin with friends and he snatches my phone from my hand and runs to the bedroom and as I try to get it back he started playfully messing with me. As the night went on we kinda talked and I ended up trying to go to bed. He came into the bedroom and layed next to me. I thought I locked the door but drunk me must've forgot. Mind you I'm in my underwear bc I hate pants. He crawls in and starts kissing me and I got really uncomfortable and tried to leave. He held me down and kept kissing me and I just was like f it I'm gonna go to sleep. So I tried and he starts feeling around and honestly I wasn't mad at that, I like being liked but I'm not over my ex. He ended up getting on top of me and I feel I was way to drunk to consent anything yet it happened anyway. I ended up crying in the bathroom afterwards bc I feel like shit about it. I didn't want that but maybe I led him on? Idk but it's actually really hurting me bc my ex is the only person I've had sex with until this point and I loved him so it was okay. I don't even remember this one and i hate it. ANY ADVISE TO NOT HATE MYSELF HELPS💗

Update- thank you guys for all the support, it really does help. 💗I'm gonna be taking a pregnancy test tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed